I had never watched Project Runway before last season. I don’t know why, other than that I didn’t happen upon it while channel surfing. But a friend convinced me to watch Season 8 with her, and now I’m hooked.
Which made me think…. would I like doing something like that? And aside from whether I’d enjoy it, could I actually succeed at it? And that brought me to a conclusion.
AdriannaSusan will apply. We’ll sew some conjoined twin outfits and stuff ourselves in. This way we can work together, since we not only have so much more fun that way, but that’s also likely the only way either of us could handle that experience.
So now that we have a plan, these are the rules:
1) Where rotary cutting is required, the Susan arm will do it. The Adrianna arm will cover it if the lines are straight and can be cut with one of those quilty straight line mats, because she refuses to do it any other way.
2) Where knits are required, the Adrianna arm will do it, and the Susan arm will hold a lollipop.
3) The work table shall contain a lazy susan for beverages. Wine, coffee, wine, coffee, wine, coffee, spinning ’round. This will ensure productivity. And notsomuch a lazy Susan.
4) Should the model be chesty, the Susan arm shall take over. Adrianna will, in this circumstance, be in charge of the confused face. Alternately, should the model be anything but chesty, the Adrianna arm will take over as Susan will be so overwhelmed with jealousy at the thought of wearing strapless dresses and garments that have no need for hiding straps that she will be unable to contribute.
5) When fabric selection is required, a hearty game of Rock Paper Scissors shall commence. While A & S do share some taste in fabrics (Good Folks, Little Folks, Pop Garden), there exists a great void most of the time. Rather than resorting to poking at each others’ hands with straight pins, Rock Paper Scissors will be employed.
6) While Susan does hold some appreciation for the color “purple”, she accepts that for the good of the team she will avoid selecting such a color during the Project Runway experience. Adrianna’s gagging and/or hives would only hinder the team’s performance overall.
7) In the spirit of #6, Adrianna shall similarly avoid selecting a “Go Hokies” theme for any Project Runway design work.
8) Adrianna shall not be in charge of decision making at the L’Oreal Paris makeup studio. “Buff” nail polish does not a runway model make.
9) Should any day of competition require awakening before 7 am, team AdriannaSusan shall forfeit. (Which means, of course, that we’d have been eliminated on Episode 1 of Season 9.)
10) Since AdriannaSusan will most definitely finish the work with time to spare, AdriannaSusan will quietly tail Tim Gunn home one night. The Susan side of the team would like to see what his PJs look like. Are they styled just like a suit, but in flannel? With a tie and everything? Does the man ever wear anything as sloppy as a t-shirt? If he were to go to a barbecue, what would he wear? Does he sleep standing up so that nothing gets wrinkled?
If you missed the first episode of the new season, you can watch it online for free here. I’m already addicted and loving the new personalities.
Unrelatedly: Katie is still doing very well, and is 35 weeks along this week. She has been on hospital bedrest for 16 weeks! More on that tomorrow.