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The Decision to Expand a Family

February 23, 2012 By crafterhours 14 Comments

Family size is so personal. How many kids are right for your family, if you want kids at all? How do you know when you’re “done”? What do you do if you want a larger family and can’t make it happen by traditional means? And what happens if you decide you want another, have it, and then realize “that was a bad idea?” There are so many parts of family size that people don’t often talk about, because they’re just so tricky and personal.

I myself think a lot about the decision to have the first one. The idea of pregnancy was so big and scary. And then the whole raising-a-kid thing is so much bigger and breathtaking– both in joyous and painful ways– than I could imagine. The decision to add another, an exponential increase. And a third? I just don’t know. The process of having the second was nail-biting and scary. Not only did it involve miserable morning (okay, all-day) sickness up until about 18 weeks, M had a “single umbilical artery” that ended up not being a problem, but was one of those things that you don’t know for sure won’t be a problem until it’s all said and done and made more scary to me by the fact that I wasn’t in America for most of the pregnancy. I think I’m still not over the worry, even though I know that everything turned out so well.

A and I like to joke about it, and obviously she’s made the leap and has no regrets. I’m still on the fence for the foreseeable future. Our family size is perfect for now.

Except…. there’s some news at our house.

And it also didn’t come without internal debate and lengthy consideration.

The timing was finally right.

Marjorie and Mikey needed a larger family. They were lonely.

These guys– Sarah, Baxter and and Ali, so named by K the very moment she saw them, have joined us. Our girls are THRILLED.

They’ve been dressed in all manner of clothing and costume and have been found to be excellent dance and play partners.  They were set up after the girls went to bed one night, and the first thing M said when she saw them, with a big, silly grin was “Hey, wass going on here?!?” K likes to dress one in a pirate costume and another in a princess gown– and I frequently find the two facing each other, the pirates arms around the princess’ shoulders.

They’re so well-loved that I’m in no hurry to remove that protective layer of plastic. It’s already saved them some scarring.

I definitely didn’t just get them for entertainment. Not even my own entertainment at the thought of adding to Marjorie and Mikey’s family. I’ve found my own children to be less and less helpful in fitting projects I’m working on, and these guys are HAPPY to stand still while I fiddle with things.

I’d already had this on my mind for a while when I visited Natasha for a crafty playdate. She has her own set, and seeing them in person helped me make up my mind. She shared her source, and I ran right over to get my own. I haven’t adjusted their height properly– since I know whatever I adjust will then be readjusted by the girls, so here the 5/6/7 is shorter than the 3/4. If the 1/2 had cheeks I’d be pinching them non-stop.

So I thought I’d share the news. These kids sure are quiet and well-behaved! No regrets. My own family expansion? Still up in the air.

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Comments

  1. The Smiths says

    February 23, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    WOW! What a huge addition. J was always glad they came one at a time. Talk about taking the plunge. Enjoy. :)

    Reply
  2. Jacki O. says

    February 23, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    I am so jealous! I want some of these sooooooooooooo bad but I haven’t found any that are affordable :( Way to go! A good choice on the family expansion :)

    Reply
  3. Trish says

    February 23, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    Do you have a good source for adult sizes? I’ve been looking for a female bust/dress form for a while.

    Reply
    • crafterhours says

      February 23, 2012 at 4:42 pm

      There’s one on our “Stuff We Use” page that’s the one that I use. It’s adjustable– which was helpful to me in the post-pregnancy shrinking process. At the moment, it’s $102 with free shipping. Not horrible, but def worth checking Craig’s List, Freecycle, etc if that’s an option in your area. I think Adrianna got hers (Eloise!) from Overstock? If it’s a color you’re not fond of, check out my “How to look good naked” tutorial. :) -Susan

      Reply
  4. Jess@craftiness is not optional says

    February 23, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    those are awesome! :D

    Reply
  5. Corinnea says

    February 23, 2012 at 11:35 pm

    I love the small mannequins, they just look cute just hangin out!

    Reply
  6. Sew Pretty Dresses says

    February 24, 2012 at 1:39 am

    I haven’t had time to read blogs regularly lately and I so need to be keeping up with you girls! You are both so funny!

    Reply
  7. Stacey says

    February 24, 2012 at 3:31 am

    Oh, how excited your husband be to see your newest additions. What a trooper he is. I’m envious of your trio and how un-argumentative they look. Do you think theirs a company out there that would trade three rowdy, obstinate boys for a set of sewing dummies?

    Reply
  8. Emily says

    February 24, 2012 at 11:51 am

    So I know this really isn’t what you were talking about, but I thought it was funny that this discussion was started the day before your post, so I’d been thinking a lot about it!! http://www.mormonmommyblogs.com/2012/02/discussion-wednesday-family-size.html

    Reply
    • crafterhours says

      February 24, 2012 at 2:57 pm

      That IS what I was talking about! Well, at least in part. It’s been on my mind– and ALSO have been thinking about how hard it must be to be Mormon and not want more than two kids. Or what if you’re Mormon (or other close-kit large-family communities, religious or no) and are infertile? Rough. Infertility is rough no matter, but to be surrounded by huge families… oy. -Susan

      Reply
  9. Mama Lusco says

    February 25, 2012 at 12:37 am

    Love this! What a fun take on adding to your family. I’m quite jealos of all the mannys :)

    Reply
  10. Jani Jo says

    February 25, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    Such a great post! love the new ‘kids’:) Congrats!

    Reply
  11. Sabra says

    February 27, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    congratulations on your blessed event :) And I’m totally jealous. I need one…or more.

    Reply
  12. essay generator says

    November 8, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    How sweet..!! You have just filled the family with you much sweetness by adding more members to it…such a happy thought.. :)

    Reply

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