When I posted about what I hadn’t expected in the fall, I really, really didn’t expect what came next in As Our Dental World Turns. After I’d written that, thinking I was in the clear, I had to go through three rounds of antibiotics to treat a sinus infection caused by the wisdom tooth removal. And then an entirely NEW string of events began. But because the drama is now (fingers crossed, knocking on wood, offerings to the gods of fantastic dental health) over, I can tell you the story. I’m telling it because I think it’s a helpful mom story. This is a crafty blog, but it’s a mom crafty blog. My second kid has some obvious differences from the first, and I think if this situation with the second had happened with my first, I would have blamed myself entirely.
One day in November I was brushing M’s teeth and thought… hmm. That isn’t the shiny pretty molar that I remember seeing there. It looks like she’s been chewing toffee. I figured that it was at least a stain, and maybe a cavity. I took her in to see our family practice dentist. M had seen the same dentist along with her sister the previous March. At THAT appointment I was *totally* patting myself on the back for getting her in before she was two. I’d pay for that.
The dentist, who we’ll call #1, made some seriously grave faces. She said I needed to get her to a pediatric specialist ASAP. #1 said M had 5 or 6 cavities in her molars, and that they were bad. She later called me after studying M’s chart to say that there had to have been some sort of developmental problem. In March those teeth hadn’t even erupted yet. And 7 months later, they were in big trouble. Here’s where being the mom of two helped– I hadn’t treated the second kid any differently than the first. I got her in to see a dentist sooner, even. And it didn’t matter. They have very different teeth. I cried.
We got in to see dentist #2 the next day, who was part of a pediatric specialty group recommended by #1. She also saw 5 or 6 cavities, and said that at M’s age, we could do some temporary treatments (fillings that include fluoride to try to keep them from progressing) in the office in two visits, and that we should go ahead and schedule her for treatment at the hospital. That scheduling can take months, I was told. They’d need to put her under to do x-rays, caps and fillings.
We did the temporary treatments and scheduled the hospital for February. Dentist #2 said that the teeth had to have been damaged during development– maybe a fever at just the wrong moment? No way to know. She tried to reassure me that the problems were not anything I could control, but that felt hollow to me. I shouldn’t have given her candy. Ever. I cried more.
In December, January and February M had waves of illnesses, and with every fever, even though I knew there were plenty of bugs going around, I worried. Was the fever related to her teeth? Was I harming her for not pushing harder to get the work done? I wasn’t hounding the practice’s patient care coordinator as much as I could– mostly because I didn’t want to rush my kid into an OR. When she had a fever and ear infections too close to the scheduled date in February, the treatment was delayed. I breathed a sigh of relief. Sort of. And then decided that I didn’t have enough opinions. I wanted to be sure we were doing the right thing.
So I took M to see #3. He was also a family care dentist that I’d seen for a cleaning, and had worked on thousands of kids over the course of his career. I wanted to hear: “Oh, that’s totally not a big deal, I can take care of this in the office”. What I actually heard: “Wow, that’s the kind of thing I only see once in 20 years. The cavities aren’t just on top or in between, they wrap all the way around. You need to get her to a pedodontist”. So he referred me to one. More me crying.
We went to see #4. At this point #2 had rescheduled her for March 26, and I let that stay on the calendar while I felt out other options. #2 didn’t seem confident and in-control to me. And the patient care coordinator was annoyingly un-helpful, so I was hoping #4 would be better. #4 seemed to look at her thoroughly and said: “She has as many as 12 teeth with cavities. We could try it in the office, but the meds will make her act kind of drunk, and we don’t know whether she’ll be a cooperative drunk or an uncooperative drunk.” Well, I wasn’t so concerned about her being uncooperative. More concerned about the trauma of having to go back repeatedly and maybe never wanting to set foot in a dentist’s office again. And with her “soft teeth”, this dentist told me, she’d be in for a lot of visits. He said it could’ve been caused by a c-section (I didn’t have one) or by third-trimester stress (okay, there was some of that) or by a fever or by another infection that diverted bloodflow… a lot of reasons for why this happened and we’d never know for sure.
I appreciated that #4 took a good bit of time to explain what he saw, but wasn’t sold on him. It’s ridiculous to say that I was influenced by the way he treated his staff when his interaction with me was good, but I couldn’t shake the bad feeling I had about him while observing the office. He didn’t treat his staff all that nicely. I needed to stick with #2. More crying.
Because the hospital procedure had had to be rescheduled, the practice that included #2 had had to switch doctors, and I needed to take M in to see and meet the doc that would now be #5. Halleluia, she was faaaantastic. Confident, experienced, kind, obviously knowledgeable. I wished #5 had been #2, but the path lead me to her no matter. I felt so much better about proceeding, even though I was scared to death to put little M under. I still cried, but felt better about the plan. Two sweet friends who’d also had to do it were so reassuring. And it’s not something I’d heard much about otherwise, so I’m so grateful that they shared their stories with me.
So this morning at 5 am, we got up and got M up and out the door. She wanted to know why it was dark, because she typically wakes up at 8:30. We said we were going on an adventure. Fortunately she’d never had any pain from her teeth, so she’s still relatively happy about dentists. She also wanted to know why K wasn’t coming with us, and thankfully, she didn’t have to because Mimi had come to the rescue and could stay at home with her.
She couldn’t eat or drink, but since we were so far off of her normal schedule, that wasn’t hard because she didn’t even think to ask. We arrived at the hospital at 6. Shiny floors are for dancing and spinning.
She was totally happy to put on the “gween dwess” they had for her. She was way less happy about the socks that didn’t fit. She asked 47 times for “socks for me”– meaning, why don’t they have socks that fit my feet?!
There was a parade of people– nurses, physicians assistants, anesthesia guys and eventually the dentist. She got a cherry flavored soda sort of drink that was supposed to make her sleepy. Except it was more like drunk. She and the little boy on the other side of the curtain from us got it at the same time, and their words got slurrier and sillier simultaneously. It would have been funny if it weren’t sad. Eventually she was laying down and just barely awake.
They took her back at 7:35 after the dentist said “she’d take good care of our little girl”. Guess what? More crying. We waited and waited and waited… and I traded messages over Facebook with a crafty mom friend on the other side of the pond who also had a kid going under at the same exact moment. At 9:45 the dentist emerged, smiling. M had slept peacefully and was starting to wake up. She had only needed treatment on 8 teeth, with the back 4 being a big problem and the other 4 just in front of them being much lesser and probably dragged into the yuck by the seriousness of the ones behind them, and we’d need to be very attentive, but all looked good. Moooore crying, but this time, relief in the mix.
Recovery was no treat, and scarier-looking than I was ready for, but it moved along quickly. By 11:30 we were at home and she was starting to keep liquids down, and by the end of the day she was prancing around and eating normally, just looking a bit tired. It bums me out that she has four silver caps– something that seems increasingly unusual in kids these days, but I feel so much better knowing that she’s buttoned up– these teeth can’t be a problem. They’re silver superstar teeth. They’ll come out eventually, and we’ll be on high alert from now on. In the meantime, I don’t have to worry about whether fevers are tooth-related. We cross our fingers again and hope that she doesn’t have any similar problems with permanent teeth. They say there’s no way to know.
And you, crafty blog reader, actually DO get an unexpectedly crafty anecdote. Your treat for reading all of this un-craftiness. As we were getting her settled early this morning– in the gown and socks, on the scale for a weight, the nurse handed M a blanket made by Project Linus. I wasn’t sure that M would really care about a blanket, but boy did she. She wanted it neatly laid over her. She adjusted and readjusted as she wiggled around the bed, and when she wanted me to snuggle with her, she wanted it to be neatly across me as well. Because she’s not normally into special objects, not a “lovey” kid I hadn’t brought anything like that with us. Just hadn’t thought about it in the stream of thoughts about getting up at 5 am and diaper bags and insurance cards and forms and please-lord-let-my-kid-survive. It was a lovely highlight of an otherwise difficult morning, and it was heartwarming. After we got home she was happy to show off the new blanket to her sister and cuddle with it on the couch. To all of those Linus blanket making ladies out there, thank you.
And that’s the story. One that I couldn’t handle writing until it was all over. So relieved to share it with you with a happy ending. Maybe someone out there will also have a kid with superstar teeth and they’ll end up besties in kindergarten.
Oh my gosh, my heart goes out to you. I can’t imagine going through that. Its a total heartbreaker to hear that something could be wrong with your little one and all those dentists… all those bad feelings about the person who would be caring for your sweet baby gal. Thank goodness its behind you and thank you for sharing! I hope it feels great to have this off your mind. More space can now be made with fun crafty stuff!!
wow, i have tears in my eyes reading this – the strength a mother has for her children is amazing to me.. i personally am not a mother, yet. I hope to be one day and I sincerely hope I handle situations and my children with as much strength and grace as it appears you have. I hope for M’s speedy recovery and that this be the end of her “adventures” :)
thank you for sharing your story. you’re such a strong mommy. i have tears in my eyes knowing how much love and concern you have for your beautiful little girl. it’s frustrating when we can’t pinpoint why this or that happens to our kid even though we know it’s our fault as mommies (even though it totally isn’t). glad the whole ordeal is over, and i’ll pray it stays over forever and ever. :)
My twins each got a project linus blanket when they were in the NICU right after they were born and I just finished making one (it only took 3 years) to donate back to them. It’s amazing how much a blanket can mean to a little one. So sorry you had such an ordeal but hopefully it’s all taken care of now!
How stressful! I had the same experience when I was a child – I had a severe lack of enamel on my teeth (due to a drug my mother was given while I was in the womb) and had to get all my molars filled under general anesthetic when I was about 3 or 4. All I remember from that experience was being excited by all the attention from the doctors and getting to eat lots of jelly – definitely not a negative memory, and my teeth are perfectly fine now!
Susan what a harrowing experience. Don’t blame yourself though. Really don’t. I know of two people, one adult and one is still a little child, with a similar experience but with their front teeth. AND my son has teeth that look like ‘mountains’ so he gets cavities easily because it’s hard to clean the food away from those crevices. His teeth shape are genetic. The point being there are lots of reasons other than sugar, that can be the reason for her teeth. Don’t blame yourself. It’s likely the fever or genetics. Bless you! Having a hospital experience is so hard!
Been there! I actually had four silver caps at 2 years old. Our oldest daughter had 4 massive root canals on the same set of teeth when she was 3. Her baby teeth have practically no enamel on them. Fortunately they say that bad baby teeth does not equal bad permanent teeth. We had the first root canals done in a surgery clinic where she was knocked out and all — similar to your experience. A year ago she had to have another set of molars removed. Well, 3 removed and the fourth with a root canal. Spacers cemented on neighboring teeth so they wouldn’t shift as the permanent ones come in… it was a lot of drama. Her first dental work was done with a wonderful pediatric dentist, but his office was so absolutely packed all the time that we changed to a family dentist later. She has had LOTS of dentist appointments (she is 9yo now) and was awake and aware with nothing more than some laughing gas and a distracting video while having three teeth ripped out and a fourth dug out and filled. With all that: she loves the dentist!!! She asked me after one of her appointments: Mom, did I get a shot?! I didn’t want to answer the question, lol, but I did. The dentist was so good at distracting and hiding things and pre-numbing that she wasn’t even sure she had had an injection in her mouth!
Yet me — I have HORRIBLE teeth (my whole family does, which is ironic since my dad was a dentist when I was young. It’s genetic awful teeth.) and I have a severe fear of dental work. Seriously, it’s embarassing. I take anxiety meds before my hubs drives me there, then watch a kids movie and have the “elephant nose” (the laughing gas) to also help get me good and buzzed. It’s not a pretty thing, nor are my teeth. *sigh* It is amazing what kids can take in stride!
(Sorry, super rambly! Just remember that you’re not alone!)
Oh my goodness…the story and pictures reminded me of the months leading up to my then 4 year old having his tonsils removed—and there was A LOT of crying involved then to…all from me…and seeing your sweet little girl in her hospital gown brought back all those sad/scared feelings I had then.
I’m glad it’s done…and how cool are those project Linus blankets? Very.
liZ
Well, won’t SHE have some fancy teeth for the Tooth Fairy someday? :)
oh, I had a lump in my throat reading that. So happy it all turned out well and hope that Little M continues on her speedy recovery. It’s like your world is falling apart when there’s something wrong with your precious little baby! At 8 weeks old a routine visit to the doctor ended up with my son getting a lumbar puncture and 2 days stay in hospital for IV antibiotics! It was a nightmare, but thankfully all ended fine.
I was exactly the same as your daughter 27 (eek) years ago. I had to have 4 molars removed and others filled. They never did work out why my teeth went like that. My adult teeth have had no more than the normal amount of issues though – phew!
Alison
x
i find that the majority of dentists know very little about much else than standard stuff, so hang on to this one. for some unexplained reason, i’m missing an adult tooth. it was just never there and no one seemed to notice in the x-rays, my baby tooth just never fell out until i was in my 20’s (it fought a brave fight, but they’re not designed to last that long). i finally found a dentist that would put in a space retainer that is usually only used on children to hold teeth up while you wait for others to come in, so they don’t fall over and so that one day when i’m rich(er than i am now) i can get a new tooth put in!
Breathing a sigh of relief.
Having any one you love “put under” is such a worry. My niece has the same teeth. I hope your both feeling better.
That’s so sad! You acted so much tougher about it when I talked to you, nice to hear the sappier mommy version (:
I think you should tell her that those are super silver teeth. Kind of like how we tell Sam her nebulizer treatments are ‘fairy air’ and she’d better not, under any circumstances, start flying in the house. Makes her feel special, which of course she is.
I wonder what M’s super silver teeth powers could be…
My Grandson went through the exactly same thing at age two. I just couldn’t believe that something like that could happen to one so small. They told my son that they thought it had been caused by formula they fed him which was one of the best and most expensive on market. When I saw Konnor I couldn’t believe the big silver fillings in this day and age I didn’t think they used silver any longer. Wow he seems o-kay after the experience , I think it was his parents who suffered the most. Good luck with your wee girl, Konnor is almost 5 and has had no problems since. Blessings Sandra
*Hugs* While it sounds like my daughter doesn’t have an issue as extreme as yours, I did want to share that my daughter also has developmental issues with her teeth. She was born 10 weeks early, via emergency c-section. She had a very stressful pregnancy. She got tons of antibiotics and a transfusion at birth. Ada got her first cavity at 3. Her teeth had been totally normal at 18 months, and 2 years. I missed her 2.5 year appointment. Ugh. We only had to go to 3 dentists before we found one that could take care of it. We decided to have her sedated in his office. Our insurance didn’t pay for it, so we had to scrape up the near $700. She had 5 cavities, and should’ve had a root canal on her back molar. There was a gaping hole in it, and I doubted him not doing the root canal, although he did say that we may have to come back. Two years later- its still holding. Her front teeth are so soft that they have almost worn away. She’s only 5 years old. Since then, she doesn’t miss a dental appointment. We brush religiously, she flosses, and we use an after brush rinse. I don’t let her eat raisins, or fruit chews, or sugary drinks. I cross my fingers that her adult teeth will be just fine.
glad everything turned out okay, that sounds like it was totally no fun to go through. :( At least it sounds like you had a lot of support! and isnt’ the project linus great. Natalie had to go in for stitches once and she got a quilt because she was such a champ. Now I really need to make one to send in!
Thanks for sharing this. I went through something similar with my youngest when she was about that age. Didn’t have to knock her out, but lots of cavities. I cried a lot, felt terribly guilty, and was convinced I must be the worst mother ever. It is enormously comforting to read your story and know that I am not the only mom to deal with this.
So very glad that she came through everything so well. What a little trooper. My son had a fall and had to get his front tooth extracted- I was a mess. My husband was my rock. My son doesn’t remember any of it, I will never forget his recovery and all of the emotions leading up to it. You captured some of those feelings in your post.
As for the blanket, the students in my sewing club just finished some quilts for Project Linus and it never occurred to me that they would be used for patients who had shorter hospital stays. Makes you realize even more the number of blankets they probably need/use and how many people are served in that way. Amazing organization.
Here’s to healthy kiddos!!
i think one of the main feelings of moms is guilt that you did something wrong, but things just happen. be strong, your little one is doing good. thank you for sharing your story. this will definitely help moms going through the same thing.
I just read this, and my heart goes out to you. I am so glad that you have had some closure, and feel ok about it in the end. My husband is a pediatric dentist, and he sees cases like this every day. Lots of kids go through this, and unfortunately, some are not products of a caring, educated home like yours. You can pat yourself on the back knowing that you did everything you could, but mom’s can’t fix it all! I have a child with a genetically inherited health problem, coming from my genes, and it is hard not to feel guilty about that even though I know I never could have helped it! No one can possibly warn you of the mommy guilt that is unavoidable!! I am pleased to hear that your pediatric dental experience turned out to be positive. The main reason my husband switched to pediatrics (besides his love for kids) is that he wanted to make sure that kids started out with a positive experience in the dental office. As a general dentist, he saw so many people (myself included) that had a fear/hatred of the whole dental experience. A special place for kids is always a good thing! I hope things continue to improve.