I rarely pop in here on a Saturday, and especially not to spout off on sensitive topics that will get me lots of hate mail, but here goes.
This week I was really encouraged by two things I heard that deal with two of the biggest sources of strife in my sheltered little rich first-world life.
#1: Haters gotta hate.
I know this is a fun little quote right now for all of us living the thug life, but I must ask, WHY? Why do haters gotta hate? We don’t get many not-nice comments on this blog, but we have received a few. And a few not-nice pinterest comments too (which makes NO sense, because hello, why take the time to pin something and then say something negative about it?) I loved this post from LBB this week where she posted some of the crazier comments she’s received, because she made it funny. But take away her lighthearted commentary and great attitude, and really they were just mean comments. And that got me thinking, you know, I think even DISNEY from Ruffles and Stuff has received some not-nice mail. If people are mean to the blogging queen of nice, the rest of us don’t stand a chance.
And then Susan posted this youtube video to our twitter that pretty much sums it all up (I say “our” twitter, but really Susan does all of our social networking. I don’t really know what a twitter is.) Sorry about the mildly offensive language (perhaps don’t play it if your kids are around), but wow. It’s So True. Let’s all sing this little ditty in our heads as we go about our day, ok?
And if the mildly offensive language does bother you, how about these words: LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR. A pretty famous guy once said that this was the 2nd most important thing in the world. You may know Him.
#2: (this is a more focused version of #1) Haters gotta hate on Moms!
Back at LBB again, with this post, which basically spurred me to write this post of my own. Why, of all the haters in the world, are moms some of the worst perpetrators? As moms, can’t we all just recognize that this job is the hardest and most honorable and most terrifying and most wonderful and most important job in the universe? Why would we make it any more difficult on one another or dampen its joy by judging someone else for the way they endeavor to love their children?
So next time you start thinking that it’s weird for that 3.5 year old to have a paci in her mouth or you just really don’t like that rainbow felt wreath (ooh! cute idea!), or maybe there’s even an important vote happening in a state that begins with “north” and ends in “carolina” and you’re tempted to run your mouth, first remember our little song and hum it to yourself instead. Nobody is saying you have to share anyone elses’ opinions or beliefs. Nobody is saying you even have to keep your opinions and beliefs to yourself. Just don’t be a jerk about it. Love your neighbor.
Am I writing all of this because I’m perfect and never ever hate on anyone? definitely not. I’m writing it so I’ll remember it and you guys can hold me accountable too.
I will say that I have not left negative comments on other blogs though. Talk about a futile activity. No, my bigger fault is NOT commenting when I DO love something. In fact, if we could go beyond keeping our mouths shut instead of hating and move into encouraging one another and spreading joy, that would be pretty cool.
Tomorrow I step down from my soapbox and kick off the start of something really fun; something that will give you lots and lots of opportunities to tell others how much they rock. Stay tuned!
Sonja says
Nice post. Well said and timely. Can I add to the list creepy men who comment on photos of children or sewists modeling something they have sewn. It has happened to me both on my blog and on FLickr. It’s mean in that it causes me (and countless others)discomfort and makes me worry. I think they do it for that very reason. Mean.
Taylor {Sew Much Love} says
Good call and good post! Virtual high five! We would do so much better to encourage each other! Thanks for posting!
Tara @ Tara Being Tara says
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
Kelly's Korner says
I’m not a very reliable commenter, so I don’t waste precious time on hateful comments! If I don’t like something I just don’t say anything. Unless it’s to encourage someone else to not be mean… I teach my kids the Thumper rule – if you can’t say nothin nice, don’t say nothin at all. :)
Siubhan Mc Carthy says
Here here !
Jessica @ Sunny Tuesday says
Amen, girl!
Ali says
This made my day! Thanks you!
miamihoney says
Don’t be a ….is too funny! And true. This post is spot on. A wonderful reminder to be kind to others.
Erin McG says
Preach it sister! One day I was looking up a recipe online and found some random chat about what I was looking for. It was CRAZY to read people posting negative comments to someone who posted about the recipe and how they made it. I mean SERIOUSLY!!! I couldn’t believe my eyes. I, for one, do not have the time or energy to put in to tearing people down on the internet. It’s the most cowardly form of bullying in my opinion.
Corinnea says
I have been sad for a long time about how mean people can be, especially on the internet. Saddest of all when I find myself thinking or saying something non-constructive. Hurtful words last so very long.
mab says
Seriously! You are soooooo right! I hate election year where everyone (even those who I agree with) are downright mean to people on a different side. And, people hating on bloggers who take the time to write…. just click away if you’re offended! I roll my eyes at various things on the internet, but I follow the good manners my mama taught me. Saying or writing hateful or tacky things does nothing positive. Thanks for taking the time to remind us all to use kindness! :)
fern says
Agreed 100%
Disney says
Hahahah, I had missed that LBB post, thank you for posting about it! HiLARious! And what an unbearably sweet thing to say about me, Adrianna, I’m so embarrassed. And even sweeter that you’d feel that way about me after I’ve forgotten to write you back so many times. :o( (If I only had a brain!!)
One of my favorite verses is in James 4: “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion in worthless.” Everyone is struggling in some way, we can’t be the straws that break each other’s backs! Thanks for such a great post.
Kasey Campos says
That is a good verse!
thingsforboys says
You’re so right! What happened to ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’. I had someone post a comment on one of my projects saying it was the biggest waste of time ever! What, more of a waste of time than clicking on a link you already think is dumb, reading the post, adding a comment and adding the verifications?? Anyway… We should definitely be nicer to eachother. Have a lovely day!
Tessa says
Yes. I live in NC and for a month before the vote and a week after the vote I read countless posts and comments of hateful words. Both sides. People were just saying things to be mean to one another. It made me so so sad to see adults treating each other so terrible over an opinion. Spread the love, this world needs it.
Kasey Campos says
SO TRUE! I am sorry you got a mean comment, I think that is such a pathetic waste of someones time.
I got a mean comment one time, not going to lie…. I teared up a bit. Then got mad. It was over a litter hair bow I made and displayed on a piece of fabric. they said the fabric was so ugly why would any one buy it. I said I am not selling it only trying to teach people how to make the bow… not the fabric. They said the bow! that is the ugliest part.
So I guess we can all be victims of mean jerkfaces. I have to tell you my baby loved your little clip I had to play it over and over for him. I loved it too. Thanks for the good post
Stacey says
:) to your comments :( and :P to people who’ve never learned to mind their mother’s “if you can’t say something nice . . .” attitude. The world is full of different kinds of people with different thoughts and ideas. We don’t have to all agree all the time but wouldn’t it be a nicer world if all learned how to disagree without being jerks.
Georgine says
I agree that polite people should follow the “if you don’t have something nice to say…” rule. However, blogs are public forums. Pinterst is a public forum. You are inviting people into a part of your life. Bloggers (pinners) are putting their ideas out there. And some people aren’t going to agree with what you do/say. And, this being a public site where people can be anonymous, you get what you get. There are creepy people out there, and if you don’t want them ogling your kids, keep your kids out of a public forum. And if you blog about hot button issues, like Ashley from Lil Blue Boo and mommyhood, or gay marriage, you have to expect people have strong opinions. If soeone doesn’t agree with what you are doing/saying, it would be great of they could do it in a polite, constructive, non-judge-y way, non-confrontational way. I guess you follow the same advice you give to your kids. People can be mean, let it roll off your back, don’t let them bring you down. Have confidence in what you are doing and saying.
Jani Jo says
Ditto….to EVERYTHING you said:)
Jen says
You go girl!